


Try Again

by darkness_prince_dan



Series: Song based drabbles [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drabble, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 17:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4675040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkness_prince_dan/pseuds/darkness_prince_dan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil meets Dan when he's a shy theatre kid but fame changes even the best of us.<br/>A short little drabble based on the song 'The Scientist' by Coldplay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Try Again

Having your dreams come true is not always the best thing that can happen to you. Dan learns this lesson by suffering through it.

He was a simple theatre kid way back when. After graduation he got himself into a nice university to study the art of acting further. That’s when he met him. Those gorgeous blue eyes, the raven hair he always fluffs, the pink plush lips with a never disappearing smile. Dan fell in love instantly but it took him weeks to build up the courage to ask out the tech geek who was just helping the theatre majors with their production.

“Hi, I’m Dan,” the brunet stumbled and stuttered through the three words when he approached Phil for the first time.

“Hey, yeah, I know,” the ever luminescent smile lit up the other’s face as he lifted up his eyes from his computer to look at Dan. “Your acting is spectacular by the way. You make it really hard for me to focus when you’re on stage, I can’t take my eyes off of you,” Phil just casually complimented him and Dan lost his ability to speak, overwhelmed by the idea that his crush actually noticed him. “Did you want to ask me something?” Phil queried, eyes wide, all attention directed at the now extremely self-conscious brunet.

“Just that…” Dan chewed on his lip not really knowing what to say. “I-I noticed you too,” he tried, glance cast at the ground. “And I was wondering,” he looked everywhere but at Phil, “if you’d maybe like to go for a coffee with me sometime,” Dan finally managed to say.

“Of course,” Phil answered at once. “How about after the rehearsal?” He tilted his head slightly sideways and Dan couldn’t help but think how adorable Phil looked.

“Um, yeah, okay,” the brunet smiled, trying to hide how excited he really was. He would’ve danced and sung if that were acceptable in such a situation.

“See you then,” Phil winked at him and got back to work. “Oh, and Dan,” he called after the retreating boy. Dan spun around instantly, his name on Phil’s lips sounding better than anything he ever heard. “You’re really cute when you’re flustered,” Phil smirked, knowing exactly what he’s doing to Dan.

“What… I’m not… It’s not like…” Dan sputtered out rubbing at his neck, going more red by the second.

“Break a leg,” Phil interrupted the incoherent nonsense, smiling amusedly.

After that Dan just nodded, not trusting himself to speak, and got on stage extremely carefully, afraid the universe will screw him over by making him trip over air in front of Phil. The rehearsal was the worst thing Dan had ever experienced by that point in his life. He could just feel Phil watching his every move, listening to his every line, and he had to muster up all he had learned to stay at least slightly composed.

They started seriously dating soon after, moved in together only three months into the relationship and Dan was never happier than then. He adored all of Phil’s little quirks, his laugh, his gentle touches, his passionate kisses. He loved curling up to Phil in bed, combing through his hair, playing piano for him while Phil sat next to Dan with his head on the brunet’s shoulder, humming along. He cherished all the little things: Phil leaving post-its all around which had ‘I love you’, ‘have I told you how wonderful you are today?’, ‘you’re the best thing since sliced bread’ or ‘don’t forget to buy cereal!!!’ written on them, Phil looking awfully adorable in the morning with his fringe pushed up, all sleepy and cuddly, Phil reading to him when Dan was too lazy to do it himself and fell asleep exactly after two and a half minutes every time, them whispering secrets to each other in the middle of the night, them never wanting to lose physical contact, even though it’s just them brushing hands as they stand side by side or Dan hooking his foot over Phil’s ankle under the table. It was bliss, it was all Dan ever dreamed of, until it all fell apart.

Phil always supported Dan through everything and anything: all his failed auditions, all the bad reviews. He was absolutely delighted, as was Dan, when the brunet got a role in a movie. It was difficult to be separated for a few months while Dan was filming but the load of calls, messages and Skype sessions had to be enough. Phil walked the red carpet with Dan, went to every interview he had so there’d be a friendly face he could look at when in need for reassurance. He ignored all the rumours going around when Dan’s career suddenly sky rocketed and he became famous. But as paparazzi watched their every move, Dan’s fans contemplated who would be a better match for him rather than some unknown tech geek, and Dan’s celebrity friends flirted with him at parties even when Phil was holding his hand, it became too much.

They drifted apart slowly and without really noticing it. All of a sudden Phil slept in their bed alone, Dan attended events with other actors, he came home drunk or high or both, he made-out with his co-stars publicly, they fought and screamed at each other and then it was over. Phil became another spectator, reading about Dan’s life in magazines, watching him ruin his life one day at a time. He wanted to help him desperately but the brunet no longer was the shy cute theatre nerd he once met. So Phil moved on.

It’s midnight and there comes a tapping. Someone’s gently rapping at Phil’s door and it sounds loud and unwelcome. Phil tries to sleep through it but the person is insistent so Phil gets up and wanders through the darkness to the door. The man who stands before him is someone Phil hasn’t seen in a while.

“Can I come in?” Dan asks, biting his lip, fiddling with the too long sleeves of his jumper, hunched over and looking vulnerable and scared.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Phil answers instead of saying a ‘yes’ which he truly wanted to blurt out. But he hasn’t seen Dan in two years and it’s just not the same.

“Please?” Dan whispers brokenly, tears welling up in his eyes. “I just want to talk and I have no one else.”

So Phil lets him in, makes then both tea and sits with him on his sofa. Dan’s fingers are trembling and he wipes away tears with his sleeves. He smiles sadly, staring into his cup.

“I’d so want to start it all over,” the brunet murmurs. “Or just tell myself how fucking hard all this actually is.”

“Yeah, well, no one said it was easy,” Phil says a bit too harsh probably since Dan winces slightly at the words.

“I wanted to apologise,” Dan whispers after a few moments of silence. “It all got to my head. I forgot who I actually am and I lost you,” he runs a hand through his hair. “I lost you and you were the only person who really cared about me. I’m so sorry,” he’s wiping away tears again.

Phil has no idea what to say. They didn’t end it on good terms and it’s true that he can’t last a day without thinking about Dan. But that boy broke his heart, he ruined all the good they had. He can’t trust him anymore.

“Why did you really come here, Dan?” Phil asks, the name feels unfamiliar, strange, reminds only of hurt, having deleted every nice memory.

“I don’t know,” Dan admits slowly. “I was just wandering the streets, couldn’t stop thinking about you, I wanted to see you again,” he glances at Phil and the latter has to restrain himself from doing something stupid, like kissing the brunet, when Dan’s looking at him through those thick lashes, biting his bottom lip.

“Well, you saw me,” Phil turns away from him. “Anything else?” He asks curtly before sipping at his tea.

“I’m still in love with you,” Dan whispers. “I need you, Phil. More than anything, I need you back in my life.”

 _Fuck,_  Phil thinks to himself. Those few words and he’s done for. How does this boy still have such an effect on him? How does he just march back into his life, say ‘I love you’, and make Phil want to hug him, kiss him, protect him from all the evil of the world? How does he manage, after two years of nothing, bring the unconditional love Phil feels for him back to life?

“You’re an idiot,” Phil says, glancing at him, seeing the instant hurt in those amber eyes. “But I’m in love with you too,” he smiles slightly.

“Oh,” Dan grins. “So we can start over?” He asks hopefully.

Phil doesn’t respond. He strokes Dan’s cheek and kisses him lightly, sweetly, promising that they indeed can try again.


End file.
